It’s the quiet moments that people tend to avoid. We can work hard to fool others but in those quiet moments we are faced with an inner reality that reaches out to us with utter truth. This is why so many avoid the uncomfortable silence where there is no one to impress, no one to feed the ego and simply no one to occupy this space.
Why is it so uncomfortable? Because we can fool almost everyone except ourselves. Depression finds its way into the smallest of gaps within our consciousness and brings its own conflict. It speaks without words but only a silent awareness that says; “Keep trying to impress others and gain attention and acceptance and I will forever return and wreck havoc upon you.”
The suppression of this force never works for long. It becomes like a pressure cooker that becomes harder and harder to stifle the growing force within. This is how it magnifies by carefully storing it into an incubator of internal fire. That dark force that can grow into a volcanic pressure likes being there. It can now grow in power until in time it will push to the forefront of every fragile self-concept and completely control us.
It is there, growing behind the false smiles, the tears of anguish, the swaggering bravado and the total misery of needing to be noticed.
Yet….the only thing we need to notice is the conflict within. The moment we stop pretending and embrace this force for what it is, is the moment we set ourselves free.
This is how light finds its way into the darkest of spaces.
I like this blog, I can relate to this, when I was younger I hated silence, always wanted to be noticed, but no more, as I have got older I love the silence, no need to impress either. Great blog Simon.
if you are going through hell just keep going , like it Simon